Should you buy Priority Boarding with Ryanair?

I was recently asked to find a flight price for someone who wished to travel from Alicante to London in September. You can read the surprising results here: https://awakenholidays.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/do-budget-airlines-really-offer-budget-prices-anymore/

Whilst I was researching flight prices, the (chiefs of adding extra charges) airline, Ryanair, offered me the chance to purchase Priority Boarding for the princely sum of €14. Hmm, shall I? Shan’t I?

So, for an extra €14 I could purchase priority boarding. I assume that this is to save me from suffering the mad rush upon boarding, but in my vast traveling experience this does not work. Let me explain why. On Ryan Air flights the boarding process goes like this…

Boarding crowd

Boarding procedure

You arrive at the departure gate with plenty of time to spare. There is lots of seating so you can sit down and wait patiently. More people arrive and they sit down to wait and there is a gentle murmur of hushed sounds as people quietly chat amongst themselves. Then it happens… The stupid people arrive.

They arrive about ten minutes before boarding. They come in large, sweaty groups, talking loudly and shouting at unresponsive, arrogant kids. They walk right up to the front desk and create an unnecessary, unformed queue.

It doesn’t matter how much the attendants ask them to move or sit down these people will not listen. They will stand there like they own the forthcoming flight.

So, very soon, the time arrives when the boarding staff begin to board the passengers, or attempt to. Naturally those in wheelchairs or with small children are called first, and then those with €14 priority boarding passes are called to board. And then the magic happens… The sea of stupid peoples’ bodies part like the Red Sea with the boarding attendant doing his greatest Moses impression. All is well and the flight is boarded sensibly and quickly by all.

No.

What actually happens is that the group of idiots are so bulky and wide in their sweaty mass that it is almost impossible for others to pass. They push their large asses and annoying bratish kids forward to create an impenetrable wall of smelly human flesh, that even if you could squeeze past you would not want to. Suits, dresses, trousers, skirts and bags would get ruined!

The heaving, ugly throng refuse to obey Moses and the Red Sea stays stubbornly where it is. Voices are raised and snotty kids start screaming at their noisy siblings, shouting sentences such as “We were here first”! I feel really sorry for the boarding staff. I really do. They shouldn’t have to deal with this.

Of course, whilst all this is happening, regular people like you and I simply hold back and let the hoard board the plane, quietly praying to God that we don’t have to sit close to any of them on the impending flight. Two hours in a tin can being propelled at warp speed, 30,000 feet in the sky is bad enough, but when you are surrounded by these people and their kin, it’s hell.

And that, my friends, is why I do not purchase priority boarding on Ryan Air! No, Ryanair, you are not going to fool me into giving you money for that option. Please leave me be!

This article was written by Paul of Awaken Holidays and his views and experiences are his own. He still buys ‘budget flights’ when he travels and still gets annoyed by rude people. Despite his failings and annoyances, he does however offer a great range of holidays on Awaken Holidays that he promotes online!

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